Guess who am I?

Disclaimer -

This is a humorous post. Contents have got no connection whatsoever, with any person
This post comes out of nowhere. Its all about clues and hunting down the person in picture. Can you guess who it is. I have loads of clues in the form of traits of this person.

Who the person am I talking about.

1. My age is around 45 years.

2. I have been married for quite some time now, and I in-fact have two kids, the older of whom is about 14 years old.

3. I have a master's degree from an American University and a Bachelor's degree from an Indian University.

4. During the peak of my career, I worked in America.

5. Nobody in India, knows about what work I did in America.

6. I boast of loads of stuffs that I did in America, most of which is known only by people who are no longer in contact with me.

7. In other words what work I did in America, is known only to me, not even my employer. I might have done bathroom cleaning, but I end up pretending that, I have ended up discovering something unique.

8. I showcase myself as someone who is highly professional, conducts himself with integrity. In reality, I do nothing for which I am paid for.

9. By the way, I am paid huge in India too. May be 30 Lakhs upwards.

10. My daily routine starts with coming to office at 9 am and leaving at 6pm.

11. Though the office business hours is 12 Noon to 9 PM, I still follow my own time, you see, I need work life balance.

12. Do hell with those onsite calls with Stakeholders, I can manage it from home.

13. I can manage the calls from home, and not ordinary employees, because I am kind of superior animal, remember my pay packet and what I boast of my work in America mostly a decade back.

14. By the way, nobody listens to me in office, nor nobody tells me anything in office.

15. I have to poke at every other person to understand what is going on in the office/project/meetings whatever. Irony is still I am being paid 30plus Lakhs.

16. So much money for what, well you can congratulate me for fooling the management and coaxing them into retaining me and firing 30 odd people at leaf level node, who do the hard hard work, during the recession time of course.

17. I go for lunch on time. I take my tea on time. I also take strolls across the office floor during business hours to keep my metabolism up.

18. The last part of the previous point is rather untrue. I take a stroll around the floor just to evesdrop into others conversation, just to figure out who is talking what and with whom.

19. Since no one gives me any status nor much work is assigned to me, I generally have minimal responsibilities. So during business hours, I still find time to check social networking sites on my mobile. I chat with my family members too.

20. Forgot to mention I own 3 cars. one driven by me, one by my wife who also works and one spare.

21. I have loans to pay. Loan for the 3BHK condo plus, for kids schooling, future etc etc. That's what makes me come to office.

22. I have no interest in taking any responsibility in work whatsoever. The people who are ready to get fired are there. In case of any urgent meetings, I end up extending my stay may be weekly once.

23. People have got no clues on what I am doing in the company, but one thing is for sure, my job is secure. I can retire over here, that too with zero or minimal responsibilities, very few deliverables, etc etc.

24, I try to talk meaningful in each conversations but barely scratch the roof, forget hitting the foundations.

25. I can retire and go home, and try to do something more meaningful with life, or rather, can provide a more valuable person a chance at my position. But I am tightly bound to this home loan responsibilities. Mind you, I have a crore rupees plus of savings and considering my wife also works, I am in luck. But still I won't let go of this easy money!

Can you guess who am I?

I am like a Manager in a software company. I am going through a mid life crisis rather. Unable to take active part in work at the same time, cannot quit my post due to home loans and other insecurities. I do not know where I will end up. But for the last 20 odd years sustaining in the IT industry.

Hope no one comes to know about me or rather my background, previous companies etc etc. Because once a risk taker always a risk taker.

I'm a no risk taker all my life. No wonder, I have not done much in America. I just pretend and boast about my Master's degree from an American University and I have paid to get a neat resume written. No one can figure about my previous work experience.

Cheers,

When we unknowingly landed in an international competition venue - TTTT 8

Yes please, we landed at the venue for an international competition. Infact two days after we reached there was the international competition.

World paragliding championship was happening at Bir, Himachal Pradesh. We had completed our 12 day Himalayan trek and ended up at Bir.

Bir was the place where para-gliders used to take off. They would in-turn land at Billing which was a place at a little lower altitude.

We could see loads of foreigners alongside Indians as well. Few of our team members did paragliding too. So we had to get down to Billing as well.

That is how we got to witness preparations for an awesome world wide event happening in India, after we got to trek the Himalayas.

Its sad I do not have pictures of this interesting bit of travel,

Cheers,

Catching up lost sleep... Not so alcoholic after all.

Today I slept for more than 6 hours during the day time itself. 2.5 hours in the morning to late afternoon then it was 3+ hours during the evening, 3 45 pm to 7 20 pm.

I had travelled out of town and trekked hard for the 2 out of the last 3 weekends and other than that I was working out in the gym rest of the days.

My parents were shocked when they saw me sleep so much. I had not slept like this in the last 5 plus months odd. I used to sleep during weekends but it used to be 1 hour max 2 hours. I was wondering, what may be the reason for this.

I have been bit irregular at the gym this week, not working out regularly and absentee for the last 3 days and on weekend reason being out of town.

I did not have the usual after effects of workout, plus I had food, plus I had the satisfaction that I had got to travel out overcoming my mood swings. All this made me sleep like crazy. But the real thing was I had not worked out, working out induces pain, which rather disrupts deep sleep.

Your legs, shoulders, thighs are aching constantly, you feel purturbed by their movement, then how do we get deep sleep. Well that is what I think. It may be one of the reason, I have not slept properly in the last few months. Properly meaning this depth.

So, what is the solution for getting deep sleep even after work out. How do people who do manual labor get to sleep deep?

The answer is universal. Yes, that is what I told my parents all about, who again and again insist I am in bad company!

Its LIQUOR / ALCOHOL. Yes, please, though this may be my conclusion, I feel its pretty true. Why do people doing manual labor drink alcohol, why do drivers, especially truck drivers drink. Its this pain which makes sleep a far factor which makes them drink.

I am writing based on my personal experience, without hard work and without alcohol.

There have been days after my Himalayan treks where I had sleepless nights owing to the changes in altitude, plus location etc etc. Those days I was craving for sleep after a hard hard trek, but it never came. I used to wake up at 3 am in the morning, without sleep till 6-7 am and then sleep.

On such days I wish, I had a 90ml handy. But none whatsoever. I suffered without sleep.

My parents insist that, I have fallen into bad company talking about drinking, but the truth is, its more out of necessity than out of the need for sheer indulgence. Same with people who do hard hard work and who need a good sleep to get back to work and concentrate.

Cheers, and loads of respect to those people who put in hard hard work. Enjoy your drink guys!

When 500 kilometers took 12+ hours by road - TTTT 7

This one is like a continuation from the previous TTTT post. We had completed our beach trek, night dinner and were about to start to Bangalore by road from Gokarna. The bus chosen was a 22 seater. It was a nice group.

We reached Bangalore around 10 30 AM the next day, though we had started at 9 15 PM the previous night. There were few reasons:

- The route we had chosen, we had decided to come to Haveri and then hit NH4 and then to Bangalore, instead of the usual, Jog Falls, Shimoga road. Reason being 4 lane versus 2 lane.

- The vehicle which we had chosen had a front wheel wobble after or at 80 kmph. So the moment we touched 80, it used to wobble so bad that we had to cut down speed.

- We were driving at night, plus the driver had not slept properly for the last 2 days, reason being humidity along the coastal areas.

- The driver stopped at Chitradurga for some 1.5 hours. He just dozed off after stopping. So he was actually running short of sleep.

- Once we reached Tumkur, we stopped for a hotel at Kyatasandra. So this took around 45 minutes more! People were so fond of breakfast, considering, we would anyways be reaching Bangalore late, we could rather make the most of it, by eating yummy breakfast. Well that's what people thought!

Here we were, needing to reach office and there you go, reaching Bangalore was like an epic on this vehicle. I was like sitting close to the driver in the cabin, reason being, it was extremely hot and no one was ready to open windows in the vehicle.

The whole night, I was like gawking at the oncoming traffic on NH4, but one thing is for sure, it was not scary as we presume. Night driving on NH4 is surely possible.

Well, there goes one more tale! Couldnt reach office that day instead to chose to Work From Home!

Cheers,

When we ate free food after the trek - TTTT 6

This happened during November 2013, yep, almost 2 years back. We had completed our Beach trek, from Honnavara to Gokarna. We had one round of play in the backwaters of OM Beach.

The time was around 6 PM. It was time to get a fresh water bath and then head back to Bangalore. Instead the group chose something else. A visit to Gokarna Lord Shiva temple. The time flew and it was around 8PM. We thought, let us complete the dinner (prasadam) which was being served very close to the temple.

We completed the dinner and started towards Bangalore around 9 15 pm. Reached Bangalore around 10 30 am the next day.

Well, that's loads of time. The reason being, well, it can fit into another tale (blogpost) after all!

Cheers,

When we crossed state borders to pee - TTTT 5

During our weekend trips, we do many a time cross state borders, meaning we enter other states.  Entering other state by road requires vehicle permit for taxi segment vehicles. There have been couple of occasions, where we had chance to cross over to other state via the forest by walk of course!

The forest has no boundaries, but if we are caught in other state forest, we could get fined unless we have proper permission. Yes, unfortunately the forests too are demarkated, saying which part of the forest falls under which state.

During this trek, we started our road journey from Karnataka, crossed over into TamilNadu, then started the trek. During the trek we crossed over to the Kerala side, and then we completed the trek. We had to take a jeep ride from Kerala to TamilNadu border.

The jeep crossed the Kerala side and entered into the Tamilnadu side, and then stopped. It was over here at a distance of 0.5 kilometers, that our vehicle was parked. So before we could locate where our vehicle was, we thought of relieving ourselves.

Considering there were many people and checkposts in the Tamilnadu side, we thought it would not be a correct idea to do so. Ahead there were many street lights because of which we turned down.

So now only option left was to go back to Kerala side of the road which was a bit dark,

That is how we crossed the state borders just to pee!

Strange things do happen while travelling, its just about making them happen and recollecting them!

Cheers,

Shuttle driver #14 - Driver who drove the same car for 11 years and still counting!

Finally the jinx was broken. We had a good Toyota Innova cab doing duty for the last 5 months and now all of a sudden due to cost cutting, we have moved back to Non AC cabs, like Indica Sumo.

The Kengeri route shuttle ever so remains so skeptical, that, we wonder each day, whether it will be a 4 seater or an 8 seater.

Each day a new cab, yesterday was no difference. We had a cab and finally talking to the driver, we came to know, he was driving for the past 25 years!

Starting from truck/bus/Tempo traveller, now to a 4 seater cab. The thing he said was he was the single owner/driver for the vehicle, which he had since 2005.

Yes 11 years, driving a single vehicle. I asked him, did you not get bored driving the same vehicle, wanting to move to a higher capacity vehicle.

He replied saying, he also owned a Tempo traveller, which he would drive once he got bored, next weekend he had a tour Kerala side!

So asked him about vehicle engine repairs in the last 11 years, for which he said, engine was re-bored, with piston changes, engine head, camshaft changes after 5 Lakh kilometers. The car had done, more than 8 lakh kilometers in the last 11 years.

The driver told, whatever he had earned today,was because of this vehicle. His savings in the last few years were all attributed to this vehicle. The way he said was very emotional indeed!

By the way, I forgot to mention which vehicle was he driving. Do I need to? It was a Tata Indica of course!

Cheers,

Top respect #Mahindra

There have been multiple occasions when I have taken jeep rides on non existent roads. Meaning on pathways littered with stones rocks, or paths where your normal cars/two wheeler refuse to ride.

On each such occasion, I have traveled in a Mahindra jeep. I have always been a huge fan of Mahindra vehicles, its sad that I could not afford one, 6 years back!

So after our Sunday's jeep ride from some forest out of nowhere near Munnar to Kerala-TamilNadu border, I just thought, about what real toughness is all about.

I guess thats what Mahindra vehicles stand for esp Mahindra Jeeps, Mahindra Bolero, Mahindra MaxR. I'm not counting in Scorpio/Xylo/XUV in this list, because, I have never seen them being driven over such pathways.

It has always been bare basic jeeps, if not Bolero/MaxR/Pickup truck.

Its one department, where Mahindra wins easily with no competition. Many reasons exist, so let me list  them

- One cannot ride Range Rover over such roads. the cost of Range Rover parts to the cost of Mahindra spare parts differ by leaps and bounds.

- Weight - Mahindra Jeeps especially, weigh very less, they carry no weight by themselves apart from their subframe and a bare minimal body and top. They literally have less weight, where as other vehicles weight tonnes.

- Technological advancement - Many other off-roaders come with so much technological advancement, electronics that, it hurts to pay for these gadgets to run them in the wild. But Mahindra runs with bare minimum technology even with the engine. So cost of buying one is extremely less especially, if you want to ride them where there are no roads.

- Repair - Repairing them is simple as each part is visible to the naked eye. Unlike other vehicles, where many parts are hidden within a fort of body work, Mahindra jeep has most parts reachable by hand, even electricals, (btw are there any electricals, yes there are).

- Engine - DI Engine (no fuss engine 2.5L / 3.2L), every hard working man's dream (including mine). Loads of torque, grunt and able to take tonnes of load. Can newer technology replace this one, I doubt! Simple parts, can be repaired by village mechanic, no add-ons in the form of Turbo, intercooler. All power / torque by natural aspiration, not by shitty forced induction!

So here is one such post dedicated to Mahindra expressing gratitude for all those jeep rides which have taken us away from civilization into wilderness and brought us back to civilization and also to loads of other people who earn their livelihood because of these hard core off road Mahindra vehicles.

And if you want one example of "Make In India", you have it in front of your eyes, since 50 plus years, even before " Make In India " concept was born.

Its sad to see each individual is hesitant to buy a Mahindra (though being Indian) because they just cant accept the fact that its built so tough, instead choose cheaper Japanese/Korean alternatives! (quoting escape reasons such as niggling vehicle issues, back-pain etc,which leaves me giggling)

My only regret is I could have taken additional loan and brought a Mahindra 6 years back, that's another story, but I would have dearly missed falling in love with a TATA.

I can tell, my regret gets nullified though. Someday I hope to own a Mahindra Bolero XL Plus, a 7+1 seater, with a good engine, preferably a CRDE preferably with a Turbocharger and intercooler. (MEagle engine I mean).

Considering, that spec is not available for production(my guess), I am not thinking about buying one though and after driving and being driven around in an Innova, I guess, I am in a dilemma.

Cheers,